10 Things I've Learned in 2 Weeks

I've been here for over two weeks and I've been through many amazing experiences...here's a short list of things that I've learned:

1. My French SUCKS. I was very confident with my language skills before I moved to Brussels. I've improved a bit, but when a Belgian starts talking to me in French on the subway, I'm almost always lost. At the post office, someone started speaking rapid French to me, I responded, "Je suis desolee, je ne parle pas francais bien" (I'm sorry, I don't speak French well). The lady walked away, because she couldn't understand my French. Another woman translated my French to actual French. It's really difficult being in a city where 80% of the people speak a language you barely know.

2. Carbs aren't a bad thing here. I eat bread for breakfast. A sandwich for lunch. Usually some sort of bread for dinner. Waffles for a snack. Fries can be a meal by themselves. Most of my meals consist of carbs because most of my meals are bread. Also, I've lost five pounds.

3. The metro is the one place where everyone is equal. Politicians, businessmen, hobos, everyone rides it. This leads to awkward moments. Like, when you're on a train with policy makers and your cell phone goes off, with the Super Mario Bros ringtone on full volume, and you hurriedly try to silence it before they realize what it is. Or you find a huge bag of animal crackers in the grocery store for a euro, get excited, buy two packs, and then realize how stupid you look sitting next to men in power suits. But not only the rich and powerful ride the metro, the crazy people do, the smelly people who don't wear deoderant do, the overweight tourists do, the street performers do, the creepers do. You meet everyone on the metro (but dear god, don't make eye contact and smile, that's a death sentence - unless you're into creepers hitting on you the entire ride) and every time is a brand new, interesting experience.

4. Belgian teenagers are just as obnoxious as American teenagers. Yes, there's some exceptions to both. My host sisters are awesome, despite their teenage status. Some are exceptionally obnoxious, a testament to my theory that children ages 11-18 should all be sent to military school. When I get on the metro 3:30-4:00 pm, and there's not enough room to breathe, and the teenagers are being, well, obnoxious, I start to believe that we should think about gassing all of them, and begin to fantasy about drop kicking them across the city.

5. When in doubt, act like a stupid American. Odds are, people will take mercy on you. THIS DOES NOT APPLY IN PARIS.

6. Don't speak French in Flanders. You might get mugged.

7. Finish all your god-damned food. Even if you don't like it. There's nothing worse than your host mom saying, "You not like my food?" after you know she spent a bloody hour on it. It's obscenely rude to not eat everything (unless you're at a restaurant) on your plate. It's ok to say no to seconds, but eat everything on your plate. You don't like it? Deal with it. Pretend it's a giant slice of chocolate cake. Don't like chocolate cake? Well, you aren't a normal human being. Food is still half-alive? Suck it up and eat it.

8. Megavideo is a gift from god. As are blackout curtains, considering there is 18 hours of sun in Belgium at this time. Oh, and never leave the house without an umbrella. Odds are, it's going to rain sometime in the day.

9. Learn your metro. Remember that if you can get to Montgomery, you can get anywhere. It doesn't matter how far away you are, you have a direct link to Montgomery? You're gold...

10. Before you leave for Belgium, or any other European country, really, learn how to hold your pee for a long time. This will save you a lot of money in the long run. Public bathrooms cost anywhere from .10 to .80. I have learned to hold my urine for several hours until I can either go home or get to the office. I'm extremely proud to say that I have not paid for a bathroom yet. Mwaha.